


Coherent

by elyssblair



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: M/M, Post-Movie(s), Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-01 16:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2780057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyssblair/pseuds/elyssblair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after the team tracked down Max then went their separate ways, Jensen has settled back into a small town New England way of life. Sort of. Mostly, he consults with various government agencies and mooches coffee at his sister's bookstore. Then Cougar walks in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coherent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Java](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java/gifts).



The antique bell over the door jingled jauntily and Jensen looked up automatically. He couldn't actually see anything over the mish-mash of bookshelves from where he sat, but old habits died hard. It was still an improvement. He'd been back home nearly a year before he let himself relax enough not to need to have clear line of sight to an exit.

Now, three years on, he could sit in the back of his sister's bookshop surrounded by his laptop tablet and coffee mug and only half-listen to the comings and goings without slipping into hyper-vigilant mode. Of course, the habit of constant anticipation of mortal peril instilled by never-ending Special Ops assignments had only been heightened by a year and a half of living as technically-dead fugitives. Which meant he didn't quite relax until he heard Mrs. Johnson ask if the new issue of _Ladies Home Journal_ arrived yet.

When the bell rang again a few minutes later, Jake's eyes flicked up from his screen to the top of the bookshelf again out of habit. And he froze. A quick glimpse of a dark hat made his heart beat hard and fast against his ribs. Ridiculous, of course. Probably Mr. Johnson, looking for the missus. The man was at least 80 years old and read _GQ_ as religiously as his wife read LHJ. Or maybe a straggling tourist, one of the handful still showing up despite the fact that late October was past peak foliage in New Hampshire. Whoever it was, it wasn't who he wanted— Thought. It wasn't who he'd _thought_ it was.

Jake hadn't seen or heard from… that hat in three years.

Three years. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime. Sometimes it felt like a heartbeat. He didn't miss the constant panic. Or getting shot. But he missed everything else. Everyone else.

It had taken eighteen interminable months to hunt down Max, clear their names and bully the government into giving them all honorable discharges. The back pay had been a nice little nest egg. The haul they'd liberated from Max's various accounts had been even better.

Pooch returned to Jolene and the baby and opened a little garage where he could tinker until his heart was content. Clay and Aisha started some kind of security consulting firm where they could continue to be adrenaline junkies without the constant threat of death and mayhem. Jake assumed they saved that for their vacations.

Jake invested in his sister's dream of owning a little bookstore. His only contribution, though, was taking up the most comfortable chair and mooching coffee from the little cafe they added the second year.

He kept a hand in by doing some consulting of his own, when the mood struck him. Military. FBI. Local law enforcement. Never for the CIA.

Cougar had disappeared off the face of the earth. One day they were practically attached at the hip. The next, they had their discharge papers in hand and his best friend was gone. Just gone.

The hat reappeared around the corner of a bookshelf, followed by long, lean muscles in denim and leather. Looking exactly the same as they last time Jake had seen him.

#

Jake tensed instinctively, mouth forming a silent question, and hand going to a weapon he no longer wore. He glanced around looking for threats, assessing he best course to get his sister and the civilians out…

Cougar flashed the hand sign for _all clear_ followed by _stand down_. Jake automatically relaxed, body reacting to the familiar communication before his brain caught up.

Lips curling in a knowing smile, Cougar dropped into the chair across from Jake, tipped up his hat and said, "Hey."

"Hey," Jake answered. Shock, surprise and a tangle of emotions he'd prefer to keep under wraps left him speechless and scrambling to catch up for a few seconds. But silence was never something he could leave unfilled.

"Wow. You're a sight for sore eyes." He scrunched up his nose and shook his head. Because no. Did that make it sound like he thought Cougar was painful to look at? Or maybe it implied that that he was good to look at? 'Cause he was. But that was definitely not something Jake ever said to him.

Jake bit his lip to keep from spouting out every thought that crossed his mind and forced a smile.

"I mean, long time no see. Or hear. Get a text. Email. Anything."

Fuck. Did he sound bitter? He wasn't bitter. Well. He didn't want to be. Or, really, didn't want Cougar to think he was.

He took a deep breath and tried again. "What I'm trying to say is, it's good to see you. How've you been?"

"Healthy."

Those one word, literal answers were one of Cougar's favorite ways to fuck with him. Still, Jake had to resist the urge to let his eyes slide suggestively over Cougar's body and make an inappropriate comment.

He used to be better at keeping those kinds of impulses in check. He may never have a filter when it came to attractive people, but he had a healthy sense of self-preservation.

Cougar had been a teammate. And he could put a bullet in a person that they never saw coming. Two important rules Jake learned early in his military career: Don't fuck with a teammate. And really, really don't fuck with a sniper.

"Good. Good. Me too," he answered and flashed his hand around the shop to distract from his momentary lapse. "Living in the lap of what my sister considers luxury…"

Jake let the words spill out, not even paying attention to what nonsense gushed out. Instead, he let himself surreptitiously indulge in taking in Cougar's presence.

Cougar looked the same. Hair still long and shaggy and inviting someone to sink their fingers into it. His body was still solid muscle with curves and cuts that made him seem more like a work of art than a mere mortal man. His eyes, though, were tighter. Hiding more than they used to hide when it was only the two of them shooting the shit.

While Jake rambled, Cougar sank deeper in the chair. Loosening, easing like the flow of words finally let him let go of whatever burden he carried. Which made Jake want to know what the hell had happened to him in the intervening years that was worse than what they'd been through together.

"So, three years is a lot to catch up on. What have you been up to?"

Cougar's entire body snapped tight again. His eyes shuttered even more and Jake wanted to kick himself for asking.

"Family obligations." Cougar said the first word through clenched teeth and it held a weight of bitterness. Well, that was obviously a topic to stay way the hell away from.

Thankfully, Jake's phone chimed a reminder that distracted them both.

"Speaking of family, the last soccer game of the season starts in fifteen minutes. Wanna' go watch Emma kick butt?"

Cougar raised an eloquent, doubt-filled eyebrow at him and Jake's heart sank. If Cougar didn't come, would he even stick around? Jake still didn't know why he was really in town, if he was staying or passing through on that obligation he didn't want to talk about.

Then Cougar's lips twisted into a grin. "Not like last time, right?"

"Last time wasn't that bad?" Jake hedged. He got a hard stare in return. "All right fine. I promise. No matter how terrible the call, I will act like a responsible adult."

He stood up and drew his finger over his heart.

It got him an eye roll, but Cougar got up and followed him out of the store.

#

Jake and Cougar settled into his usual spot in the stands, a perfect place to enjoy the warmish, bright afternoon sun as the soccer mom's filled in around them. While they were always friendly and talkative, today they went out of their way to stop and chat. And make Cougar feel extra-special welcome.

Cougar showed his appreciation by flashing that sexy grin and tipping his hat to each new mom who stopped by. Jake wanted to warn them all off with snarl, but he pasted on his usual smile and pretended not to notice the way they stared and murmured and fanned themselves. If he was jealous at all, which he wasn't, thank you very much. If he was, it would be because they'd always treated him like one of the girls. Not one hint of a flirt in three years.

To distract himself, and Cougar, from the groupie hoard, Jake tried to resume their conversation while they waited for warm ups to end and the game to start.

"So, you never said. What brings you to town?"

Cougar turned his head slowly, giving Jake a serious look that made his heart hammer in his chest before answering.

"The autumn foliage."

Jake blinked, uncertain if he was joking or not. Which was ridiculous. Of course he was joking. Cougar wasn't a scenery kind of guy.

Besides, a glance around the park made it obvious that only the most stubborn leaves still clung to the trees.

Before Jake could clarify, a whistle blew and the fast-paced excitement of twelve-year-old girls playing soccer began.

For the first time ever, Jake had a hard time concentrating on Emma's game. Being pressed close to Cougar distracted him both in its novelty and in its familiarity.

They'd spent years together in confined spaces. Humvees, tents, planes, and whatever cover they had to dive for when things went sideways. It had taken months before Jake  could sleep without the sound of someone else breathing in the room with him, once he'd returned home. Yet, he fell into the habit of leaning into Cougar like a single day hadn't passed since the last time, let alone over a thousand of them.

They sat side by side, touching at shoulders, hips and thighs. Their arms brushed when they cheered and the heat of Cougar felt like something returned to Jake that he'd been missing for a long, long time.

Even after the game ended, Cougar stayed on his six when he headed down to the field to talk to his niece.

"Did you see my goal Uncle Jake? Did you?" Emma jumped into his hug.

"Of course I did. You were awesome!" Jake lifted her of the ground in their traditional post-game celebration.

When he set her down, her eyes shifted to stare questioningly at Cougar. "You remember Cougar Alvarez? He came to one of your Petunias games?"

"The one where you tried to fight the ref, right?"

Cougar chuckled behind him, and Emma turned the full wattage of her smile on him.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Alvarez."

"Cougar, please. You played well." He added a wink and a little hat tip that had Emma giggling. The soccer moms tittered from where they pretended not to be eavesdropping. Jake rolled his eyes and glared a little to get them to back off.

"That's a really cool hat, Mr. Cougar. Can I try it on?"

Jake spun around, horrified that he hadn't warned his niece. Not that he thought Cougar would hurt Emma in any way. Everyone knew how irrational the damn thing made him, though. A Peruvian drug lord still walked with a limp for making a joke about it.

So it took Jake by surprise to turn and find Cougar grinning and kneeling down, placing the hat carefully so it didn't disturb Emma's braids. It was…

Christ, Jake choked on the emotion of seeing Emma and Cougar smiling and close and sharing something. Two important parts of his life, essential parts, melding together in front of his eyes made him want to grab them both and never let them go.

After a second, he got his breath back and managed not to ooze weepy, pathetic emotions all over the place, but it was a close call. Then he joined in on the teasing and laughter and got over himself.

#

Eventually, Emma got swooped up by her team for a post-season pizza party and left them to the strategically circling soccer moms. Jake knew it was only a matter of time before one of them pounced on Cougar and then it would be a frenzy of flirting and touching and phone numbers.

Which normally, he'd be all over. Jake had long since come to terms with his inappropriate crush on his teammate. He'd compartmentalized it years ago and learned to enjoy the fringe benefits of being Cougar's wingman.

Not today, though. Three fucking years and Jake still had no idea how long he had before Cougar disappeared again. He wanted to be selfish and have Cougar all to himself for as long as he could. Which meant he needed to get them away from the flirting as fast as he could.

"Hey, my house is on the other side of the park. You want to head out?"

Cougar adjusted his hat, flicking the brim and stepped closer to Jake. "Sure."

When they walked away from the stands, disappointed sighs echoed behind them. Jake heard more than one fake shutter sound from cellphone cameras but he didn't blame them for wanting a memento of Cougar's ass. It was a thing of beauty.

They strolled along one of the walking paths that looped through a thicket of maple, poplar and oak. The trees were mostly bare but a patchwork of red, orange, yellow and gold covered the ground.

Uncertain and hating the silence, Jake babbled about the foliage seasons and tourists. The common types of trees and the rarer ones. Chlorophyll and anthocyanin and carotenoid and how each contributed to tapestry of colors around them. He didn't stop talking until they hit the shoulder high chain-link have covered in bushes and undergrowth that separated the park from his neighborhood.

"My backyard is on the other side the fence. Think you can make it over or have you gone soft?"

Cougar flashed a smug grin, adjusted his hat and vaulted the barrier with a single graceful move. He landed so softly, Jake didn't even hear any leaves crunch under Cougar's feet.

Despite plenty of practice, Jake was less easy grace and more clambering scramble with crashing, knee-jarring finale.

#

Jake brushed himself off and ignored the shiver of pleasure that Cougar's low chuckled sent zinging down his spine.

He spread his arms wide, proud of the small house, huge backyard and perfect summer grilling patio. Neighbors lived on either side but a stockade fence and strategically placed landscaping gave him the illusion of privacy.

"This is it. Home sweet home. What'd'ya think?"

Cougar took his time looking around before nodding his approval. "Nice."

High praise from his laconic friend. It shouldn't matter that Cougar liked it. The only one it had to please was Jake. But it made him feel warm and buzzing anyway as he led the way across the yard toward the covered deck and backdoor. To distract from the flush he knew heated his cheeks, Jake started to ramble.

"The Deacons live on that side. No kids. Two great dogs. The Foxes are on the other side. Nice couple but I'm pretty sure their kids or demon spawn."

He paused at the backdoor to look at Cougar, who was looking at the yard again.

"So, have you seen enough foliage yet?"

He'd meant it as a joke, another way to fill the silence and keep himself from blurting out uncomfortable truths about his feelings. But Cougar shifted to look at him squarely, face serious and solemn.

"Yes."

It felt like someone kicked him in the gut. All the air left him at the unexpected pain. If Cougar had seen enough, did that mean he was leaving already? That he'd seen enough of Jake to remember why he'd stayed away for three years?

Fuck. If Cougar was leaving again, Jake needed to say some things first. He didn't think he could keep it buried for another three years. Or longer.

It wasn't like he hadn't embarrassed himself a hundred times before by spilling his inner thoughts, dreams and wants. If Cougar was going away, he'd have plenty of time to get over the humiliation.

"I missed you, Cougar," he said in a rush, not wanting to stop until he got it all out. "I missed you. You're my best friend. But more… I always wished… I don't want you to leave without knowing-"

Cougar pushed into him, claiming his mouth and kissing him into silence. The soft scrape of goatee, the demanding, insistent press of lips, the hard way Cougar crowded Jake's body into the solid door behind him made him weak and hungry for more. He wrapped his arms around Cougar's shoulders, hands finally, finally getting to sink into the silky hair. The kiss was hot, sweet, needy and promising and Jake never wanted it to end.

Eventually, though, Cougar eased away. Jake tried to chase him, but Cougar slid his hand down to Jake's stomach and held him back a few inches. The other hand shifted around his neck, thumb stroking a soft, soothing rhythm.

"Enough leaves. Not enough of you," Cougar whispered with rough promise.

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah," Jake repeated, trying to reboot his brain and remember why the hell they'd been talking about leaves. Then he gave up and focused on the more important question. "Inside?"

"Inside," Cougar agreed.

#

Once in the house, Jake had enough time to shrug out of his jacket before he found himself pinned between Cougar and the door again. Determined lips pressed against _that_ spot behind his ear before drifting down to nip along his jugular. Jake swallowed and tilted his head, exposing his throat in a visceral, primal act of total trust.

Cougar took his time, exploring the vulnerable skin and Jake shivered under the focused attention. When Cougar traced a delicate line of soft kisses across his jaw, Jake's knees went weak and his body shuddered under the assault of too many sensations, emotions, wants, needs and fantasies colliding in one moment. A whimper escaped his throat, the intensity overwhelming until words spilled out of him unchecked.

"I didn't think you wanted this. Wanted me. You never said—" Jake gasped, stopping abruptly when Cougar's tongue found a particularly sensitive spot. The words scrambled on his lips but he couldn't shut them off. "Never said. Never did anything…"

Cougar circled around to nip at Jake's other ear and whispered, hot and sultry against its curve.

"I wanted. Always wanted."

His strong hands slipped under the hem of Jake's shirt, pushing up. Hard, sure fingers brushed over abs, chest and shoulders until the t-shirt briefly covered his eyes before being tossed aside. The hair of Cougar's goatee scraped over his collarbone, a sweet contrast to the hot, soft press of lips. Jake wanted to let himself get lost in it. But he needed to know.

"Then why? Why didn't…"

Cougar nipped him, then let his tongue swoop across the sting to soothe it before pulling back to look Jake in the eye.

"You were a teammate."

Teammates. Right. Same reason Jake kept it buried. But that didn't matter, now.

Cougar leaned forward, eyes burning into Jake's, and deliberately licked the hollow at the base of his throat. Then he grinned and slid his hands along Jake's sides.

"Thought about it, though. A lot."

The words, the sly grin, the soft caress made his dick, already hard and leaking, twitch with need. He took a couple of shallow breaths to keep his body from unraveling and searched for something to disperse the fever of want bursting inside of him.

"Did you? I always assumed you were trying to think of ways to shut me up."

"That, too."

Cougar's lips quirked. Then he gracefully slid to his knees and Jake choked at the unexpected fantasy come to life. And nearly lost it completely when Cougar took off his hat, carefully set it on the entry table and stared up at him with sultry promise.

"Time to see if it works."

Firm hands found Jake's hips again, and hot lips pressed to his stomach before sliding down over the denim covering his dick. Cougar made short work of Jake's belt and undid his fly with quick, smooth moves until his dick sprang free. He couldn't stop the humiliating sound he made when Cougar's breath ghosted across the tip.

Before Jake could catch his own breath, Cougar's tongue dragged over the head, hand curving tight and sure around the shaft. He licked and sucked, teased and tormented Jake for an eternity. When he thought he couldn't endure another minute, Cougar took him deep, doing miraculous things with his tongue and mouth.

Jake's nearly whited out from the sensations and gave himself over to Cougar's attention. He grounded himself by sliding his hands into the silky softness of Cougar's hair and held on for the ride.

Too soon, his body trembled on the edge and sensation swamped him with tidal waves of desire until Cougar sucked hard, eyes looking up with hot promise and warm expectations and the little control Jake held onto disappeared. He slammed his head back, cried out Cougar's name and came with fierce pleasure he'd never experienced in his life.

When he caught his breath and had some semblance of thought returned, he pried his eyes open. Cougar was still on his knees, two fingers wiping off his mouth before licking them clean. Jake's dick quivered and he wondered if he could really get it up again that quickly.

"Still noisy," Cougar murmured and stood up. Then he crowded into Jake, caging him in until his hard-on pressed tight against Jake's thigh. He kissed Jake, deep and hard, the taste of cum still lingering on his tongue. "Have to try something else. Bedroom?"

Jake could barely remember his own name around the urge to grind up against Cougar and offer to let him do anything. He waved vaguely toward the stairs and let Cougar took the lead.

#

It was completely dark by the time Jake managed to have any coherent thoughts again. They'd spent hours thoroughly exploring each other, acting out some of Jake's favorite fantasies. And inventing a few he'd never even considered.

Now, sated, exhausted and comfortably pinned under a dozing Cougar, Jake sighed happily and stroked the bare skin under his fingers. He thought about ordering a pizza, but he had no idea where is pants, and, therefore, his phone, had ended up in the frenzy of stripping earlier. Besides, it felt so good, lying there with Cougar's head on his chest, that the idea of getting up, let alone getting dressed to answer the door was unappealing. He was pretty sure he had some left-over Chinese in his fridge, anyway.

Jake had no idea how long he'd get to have Cougar with him like this and he was determined to enjoy it as long as possible. Of course, his mouth was never good at taking direction from his brain and blurted out things better left silent.

"So, those family obligations you mentioned…"

Cougar stiffened immediately, barely moving yet unmistakably pulling away.

And no. No, no, no. That was the last thing Jake wanted. His mouth rushed on with the question he'd been meaning to ask, knowing he sounded clingy and needy and not caring.

"I was just wondering how long before you had to get back to them? Because this is nice. If by nice, I mean, amazing, awesome, even. So, yeah, like to keep doing this. For as long as you're around. I mean. I haven't even given you a tour of the lake yet. And you should see—"

Fingers pressed firmly against his lips.

"My obligations are done."

Jake knew his eyes were cartoonishly wide and round, but the sweet burst of hope in him would not be denied. He tried to tamp it down, forcing himself to accept that just because Cougar wasn't returning to whatever obviously made him unhappy, it didn't mean he'd stay here.

When Cougar moved his fingers, Jake licked his lips chasing the ephemeral taste before asking, "So, uh, what are you going to do now, then?"

Cougar tilted his head, mouth wide with a grin and eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Always wanted to work in a bookstore."

The air left Jake in a hiss of relief. Cougar wanted to stay. Holy. Shit.

"Lucky you," Jake said, unable to contain the smile that made his cheeks ache. "I happen to know someone who owns a bookstore. Comes with free room and board. If you don't mind sharing a bed, that is."

He wiggled his eyebrows and leered at Cougar. Who stared back, silent and solemn.

Damn it, when would he learn to leave good enough alone? Just because he was ready for a happily-ever-after, it didn't mean Cougar was. He needed to backtrack in a hurry.

"Or not. Well, if you'd rather have your own room, we could do something with the den. Or, Mr. Johnson has some cottages he rents out. Or—"

Cougar stopped the flow of words with a quick press of lips this time. Just a soft kiss that derailed the string of words.

"I missed you, too, Jake."

So much meaning underlined the simple words. Years of working and living together let Jake hear all the things Cougar wasn't saying.

He slid his fingers into Cougar's hair and pulled him down into a kiss, slow and sloppy and full of silent promises Cougar would understand without a word needing to be spoken.


End file.
